i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Come see our sink grown plant.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
