just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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