sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize
