dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
She's just so happy...and so naked.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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