But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
That was an excessively violent trivia night
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
