I cockslap morals
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
