Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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