this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
