I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
