i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
