pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
