upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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