I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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