so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
