I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Randomize
