im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
