remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
