I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
