I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
