I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
it's like iHOP with fire
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
