just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
