would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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