You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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