adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
the room spins SO much faster in panama
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Randomize
