Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
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