Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
