the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
