smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
