i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
