I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
please come you make the beer taste better
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
