Pregnant stripper...not hot.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
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