i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
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