I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Randomize
