is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
