so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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