You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
