just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
