Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
