I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
