My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Randomize
