Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
