why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize