Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
