i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Someone came in the potted fern
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
i now understand why vodka
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
