i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
