We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
