If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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