Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
