I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
