For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
