Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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