Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
