There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
