why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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