he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I have fence marks all over my body
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
