I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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