and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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