is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
