My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
