he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize
