I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
