She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
