he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
