the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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