I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
