They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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