were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
