He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
